THE MAGICIAN AND THE SENATOR
by Donnie Blanz
Many of my favorite music memories have to do with people who were not members of our band. Case in point:
In 1979 The Double Edge Band secured full-time employment at the most notorious nightclub Memphis had ever known. The original building was a two story brick structure erected in the 1880's as a general store and stage stop. In the 1950's a single story addition was made to the rear and it became the infamous Hernando's Hideaway. It was (and to the best of my knowledge still is) located just off Brooks Road and Elvis Presley Boulevard. Graceland is less than a mile away.
My grandmother always said, "They call it Hernando's Hideaway because all the housewives drive up from Hernando, Mississippi to rendezvous with their lovers." Sounded feasible. I also heard that organized crime had been involved over the years, but if you saw this building in 1979 (painted black outside/red, black and wrought iron inside) you might think to yourself, "Gee, I thought those Mafia types had better taste than that!"
In any case, our humble little band found itself playing there that summer. We were informed one Friday night that a magician had been hired to do two shows the next night. We would be expected to play a little "magic music", whatever that was. The club owner was not amused when we suggested that "magic music'" was a tune that increased the size of our paycheck that week.
As threatened, a young man introduced himself to us around 8:00 Saturday night. He was from New Jersey and he called himself The Amazing Danny. He had a permanent smile, was dressed very neat and spoke quite intelligently about, "the difficulties of securing a recording contract in these post disco days considering the aging and financially burdened demographic to which you are attempting to market your southern/rural honky-tonk songs." We hated him right off!
One note about "backing up" a magician: If you're like me, you love to be amazed by a skilled thaumaturgist. However, when you play music behind one, you become privy to the secrets of how the magic is done. Therefore, what seems to be sorcery from out front can appear to be silly from behind.
So, as the ancient secrets of the great illusionists were revealed to us that night, we played a muffled, honky-tonk version of "The Saber Dance". The Amazing Danny had just pulled a live duck out from under the lid of a burning casserole dish when he gave us the cue to play some "swami music". The closest thing we could come up with was the chorus to "Ahab the Arab". He glared at us, with one eye squinted, as if we had just told the whole room where the duck came from. We played on.
The Amazing Danny and his almost lovely assistant (her name was Sally, she was from the Bronx and she wore a cheap, black leotard with ballet shoes) proceeded to search up both sides of the room for a volunteer. Sitting at the table closest to the dance floor was an elderly yet large and physically fit gentleman we all called The Senator. He was dressed in a very expensive three piece suit, the color of charcoal, and wore black Tony Llama cowboy boots. His hair was snow white and perfectly coifed. It was said that he had indeed once been a Senator from Mississippi but had long since retired to enjoy the company of his third wife, the former Miss Louisiana, who was thirty years his junior. All of us in the band had come to know his demeanor to be regularly terse. The magic boy begged everyone in the room to encourage The Senator (who was emphatically declining the invitation) to join him and Sally on the stage. With much applause and a good grip on each arm, the two of them were able to drag The Senator up from his chair and onto the beer soaked and cigarette burned platform we called, "the stage". There, under the harsh glare of the red, yellow and green jelled lights, they began "The All Knowing, All Seeing Swami Routine".
The Amazing Danny: "Oh, Sally. Looks like we've got a live one tonight!"
Sally: "Shuah doo!"
The Amazing Danny: "Now Sally, everyone knows that swamis can predict the future."
Sally: "Shuah kin!"
The Amazing Danny: "And everyone knows that swamis wear turbans."
Sally: "That's fa shuah!" (She then reaches behind the little magic stand to produce a pre-wrapped turban.)
With The Abracadabra Kid on one side and The Almost Lovely Sally on the other, they slammed the turban down upon The Senator's melon. The Senator immediately assumed the facial expression of a federal court judge pronouncing sentence upon a convicted schoolhouse bomber!
The Amazing Danny: "And last but not least, we all know that swamis always wear short pants!"
Sally: "Oooo! I jist luv this pot!"
As the whole room screamed with laughter, the prestidigitating duo knelt down and began rolling up The Senator's trouser legs. The laughter and applause became deafening as Sally's superior dexterity was made evident. She exposed the top of the black boot, the white tube-sock, and the hairy upper calf and knobby knee of the distinguished Senator from Mississippi before The Amazing Danny could even clear the top of the other boot! Pleased with the response he was getting from this, "hillbilly crowd", the Amazing Danny smiled at the audience. He then continued to roll the pant leg up and over the butt of the .38 caliber, nickel plated, Smith and Wesson pistol tucked in the top of The Senator's shiny new boot! The room instantly became as silent as the far side of Pluto. By this time The Senator was beet red in the face and he reached to pull the turban from his head. Since it had been so forcefully applied it came with an almost audible, "pop," and neatly removed the bleached white rug form The Senator's bald head!
We later learned of an altercation in the parking lot involving The Senator, The Amazing Danny and The Almost Lovely Sally. Though no shots were fired, the official police report quoted The Senator as saying, "I threw a straight right hand and thought I had killed him when he hit the ground. It looked as though his soul was leaving his body but it turned out to be a white dove he had left in his jacket."
No charges were filed.
Stan's Note: This is the very first time that someone other than the staff here at Bluehighways TV has had a piece in
"Stories From The Road." We would like to thank Donnie Blanz for sharing a great story with us. Sincerely... Stan
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